The High's & Low's of Getting Married

I have been thinking a lot lately just how my life will be dramatically different in just a mere 102 days. It's a tradition in Young Life to ask your peers what your high's and low's were for the week. I have carried this tradition onto my relationship with Nick and will also do so with our kids. I think it's a good way to find out one's praise reports and prayer requests. So without further adieu, here are my high's and low's of our engagement.

Highs:

1. I will become a wife in 102 days.
2. I will gain a husband in 102 days.
3. In 102 days I will be celebrating life and our new marriage with the people we love and adore the most.
4. I have learned more about my relationship with Nick than I ever imagined as we have been tested throughout this whole process.
5. We have grown even closer during the last 8 months and I hear it gets even better.
6. I have enjoyed every single decorating and planning aspect and the closer I get to the actual day I have seen myself become even more creative and because of this, I am sooooo excited to see everything come together!
7. My bridal shower is going to be great and I am really excited to see everyone!
8. My bridesmaids are just so amazing and perfect and they're dresses are so freaking amazing I want one myself!
9. I think October is the perfect month for us to get married.
10. I get to have sex for the very first time in 102 days. Sorry dad.
11. I am excited to be able to decorate our own place.

Low's:

1. Money. Plain and simple. Just money. Weddings are damn expensive.
2. I don't know how I mangaged to pile on so many projects I want to sometimes pull my hair out.
3. Finding a place to live. Nick and I originally started looking for houses to buy; however, we put in a couple of offers and they fell through. The reality of us not living in a home sucks...I really wanted it. I also really love this house on Robinhood Lane that we didn't get and that sucks.
4. Because of # 3, we have now decided to rent a condo near the beach because it would better for my commute as well as how cool would it be to live near the beach?! Sounds great but we have 4 weekends left that we can go look at condos and that stresses me out so much.
5. This one is hard to admit, but because of #1, #2, #3, & #4, I have found Nick and I arguing more, I hear this is normal but it still is hard as I am trying to not lose it so much and know there is a plan.
6. Not knowing where I will be in 3 months worries me and just adds more to my plate of Low's.

I know that this list above me will not be the same in 3 months, and I also know that this is temporary. However, it is still hard. I am a firm believer that no matter what, God will not give you more than you can handle. But sometimes it is really difficult to remember that when you are in the midst of a storm. My friends who have recently gotten engaged or married seem to have everything kinda fall into place for them but for us, not everything has. I understand that Nick and I have been blessed during this process. Afterall, finding a venue, honeymoon spot, florist, DJ, Officiant*, Photographer*, and Baker have all been very easy, I'm talking, it took 1 phone call and we got it. So I guess there has to be something that wouldn't just work out but why do we have to get in arguements over this? I know that a million other couples have had the same fights and stresses as we are right now and this is, indeed normal but it would be so much better if our home would fall into place as well.

I know that God has a plan for us, I know that in just 3 months we will look back and A)be forever grateful that this is over and B) think it wasn't all that bad. I try to realize that this is life and this is the way God intended it to be. There is a lesson with everything we do, maybe this lesson is to teach us patience, maybe it's to teach us to have stronger faith, maybe it's a lesson to learn more about one another, I sorta have a feeling it's all three.

I hope that within the near future I can post about our new place and how great it is but for now I leave you with this post. My praises and my prayer requests.

*Our officiant and photographer are my brother in law and his mom. So awesome!!

I Got a Log

...seriously, I got a log...see --->

Some of you may remember this post. And those of you who don't remember it, let me refresh your memory. In the very beginning of our wedding planning process, I immediately knew what kind of theme I wanted....Simple. Rustic. Elegance. Seeing as we are on a budget and I have endless ideas floating through my head at all times, I decided I would be doing about 90% of the decorating myself....something I really really love doing. I knew that I wanted mason jars with candles in them, and that I would be doing picture frames on each table that would serve as our table "numbers"....but what would these fabulous finds be sitting on?! Everytime I imagined the center pieces they just looked bare. I don't want anyone to come to our wedding and think that it looked bare....I just didn't know what else would work. And that's when I saw a picture from another wedding, where they used circular wooden disks as the base. I was immediately drawn to that picture and knew that I had to have that at the Gray Wedding.

But how would one go about getting these wooden disks without A) having to pay and B) getting arrested because we were cutting a tree down. Well I can tell you that we didn't have to pay and that we didn't have to cut a tree down, but we did get the log....and now I am happy, excited, and ready to cut some wood!

Oh and how did we get this log you may ask? Well, my very handsome and strong fiance got it for me of course ;)





Isn't he cute?!

love.....

Reasons to Smile

Whenever Nick and I argue or if we are just plain not in a good mood, I try to always have us tell each other 5 things that we love about one another...it *usually* instantly puts us back in our happy place, so I am doing the same today while at work.

10 reasons why I should smile:

1. It's Tuesday, not Monday and this is my first day of work this week. T-4 days until the weekend.
2. My dear friend, Lacy Marie Santerelli Cascadden (soon to be) Atchison is getting married this Sunday. :)
3. Nick is off work until Thursday.
4. We spent a lovely day in LA buying fabric for the wedding...and I got the guy to go lower on the price.
5. I have had 5 full days of good runs in....in a row...(this never happens)
6. We will be going on our annual family vacation in Mammoth in 11 days.
7. Also, in approximately 11 days I will be sipping my first cup of Looney Bean. Which is quite possibly the closet thing to Heaven you can get right now.
8. I will be an Aunt in about a month :)
9. I have 4 months until we get married :)
10. I have the best fiance in the world and I am truly blessed.

I felt the need to write this blog after a customer was rude to me over email. I think it worked. :)

As if this girl doesn't have a million other things to do...

...I started my newest project last night. The glitter letters. :) I have a thing for glitter, I love glitter, I love playing with glitter, & I love decroating with glitter...now does this girl like to clean up the glitter? Not. So. Much. These letters are not finished due to the long drying process then the layering of the glitter, and more drying but you get the point :)

Another D.I.Y project? Ok!

Last time I blogged about our wedding, I told you I was making napkins. I had gone to the fabric store, bought the fabric, washed, ironed, cut, then went up to Oakhurst where Candace and Talitha were going to help me sew. I have been taking pictures to track (and show) my progress. :) Step 1: wash the fabric.

Step 2: Iron. Have you ever had to iron 50 yards of fabric? Not hard, but difficult to place on the ironing board, I tell ya. Being that I am a very busy working individual, I had to iron on a Saturday morning. Killian was not very happy that on my Saturday morning, I ironed instead of playing with him. So he decided to take a stand and plop himself right onto the fabric. I think this pictures says it all! This is one the prints that I chose, the other print is slightly different.

Step 3: Cutting fabric to the desired size. Yet, not difficult but tedious. I think this took me a total of 3 hours to get 71 napkins. My lovely fiance, offered to help me while he was at work...I told him that I didn't want the guys at the station to make fun of him but in the end I took him up on his offer. (side note: how cute is it that he took a spool of the fabric so he could cut squares for me at the station?!) He got about 50 completed...do the math and 50 + 71 does not equal 150 napkins....looks like I will be buying more fabric! erggg...

(another side note: I didn't get a picture of him cutting fabric, and rather bummed out about it)

Onward we go....so after step 1, step 2, and step 3, we went up to Oakhurst for my sister's baby shower. Step 4: At this point, we began to see more progress....of course, nothing just works smoothly right? after discovering that Tal's sewing machine wasn't working, we were down to 1 sewing machine...bummer. Tal and Candace took turns sewing while I ironed (more ironing?) little creases on each side of the napkins. Let me point out again, that nothing about this project is hard, it's just long and the steps are rather tedious, but necessary.

By the way, I did manage to burn myself numerous times, but all in all it was worth it. Can you tell that I am not having fun at this point? Me=tired. We all stopped about 2 hours in...after a baby shower, glasses of wine, and El Cid, we just didn't have it in us to finish all the napkins. I think I have about 100 more to sew and about 50 more to iron plus the extra fabric that I have to purchase. I guess it's good that I have 4 months left til the wedding, huh?

But with the help of Nick, Talitha, and Candace I have gotten a lot further and feel good :) Can't wait to see the rest of the project! Stay tuned for pictures :)

Top 3 projects that I still have to complete:

1. my veil :)


2. glitter hangy letters


3. tree trunks

I'll Never Be....

pretty enough
funny enough
thin enough
liked enough
skinny enough
nice enough
happy enough
a better runner
the best employee
the best sibling
the best partner

I'll never be good enough.

_______________________________

This bothers you I bet? Yep, it bothers me too.

For the past few weeks I have been focusing on trying to be more positive and learning what God's true love is and how He thinks of me, of us, as individuals.....as His children.

Much like milllions of other women (and men too) out there, we all try to work out harder, to be skinnier, to be healthier, to be more attractive, to eat the right things, to say the right things, and to do the right things. Society has placed such a strong focus on who we aren't and who we should be rather than who we are and who God has made us to be.

I often feel that women have such an insecurity about their outward appearance, and that there is a lot of pressure to be beautiful, to be rail thin, to make sure they look good for their partners 100% of the time. I hear stories from people who's partner's want them to be skinnier or prettier...you know what I want to say to those people who think that?? I don't think I need to tell you what I want to say to those people, but serisously, they need to get over themselves. What happened to loving that person with all your heart no matter what they look like? Is that completely just out of the question? I think not.

What happened to just true beauty? What happened to confidence? I hear my friends saying "I'm fat" or "I'm ugly" and it breaks my heart to hear that because I look at them and often admire them for being true, for being beautiful, and for being nice and funny and outgoing. All characteristics that God made for them. I would be lying if I said I didn't struggle with this a bit as well because I do, which is why I am trying to learn to be positive and to be comfortable in my own skin.

My wish to everyone is that we would stop trying so hard and to just.be. You are beautiful, you are loved, you are who God made you to be.

I took some verses that I believe don't need any explaining, but serve as a reminder for all of us who struggle with this. It is plain and simple, Jesus loves us, so why don't we love ourselves?

Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV

But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. 1 Tim. 1:5 NIV